Routine
by Clouds For Climbing
Summary: Edward Elric's bored, and feeling very, very alone. Really, does it matter whether he turns up at the military every day? Intended as Parental!RoyxEd, implied AlxWin. T for mild language and depression with small mentions of suicide.


Disclaimer: I really don't own FMA. I could put something witty here … but I'm not going to. No one pays attention to the disclaimers anyway.

Warnings: Some language (well, three instances and then some name-calling), angst, depression.

* * *

Edward Elric slowly opened one eye, and then the other.

Blinking at the sun, he rolled over and buried his face in the pillow.

"Al, turn off sun, wouldya?" Edward belatedly realised that the lack of reply meant that Al clearly wasn't in the room, and groaned. _Of course_. He was still in Risembool. With Winry, no doubt. It was strange, not having his younger brother fuss around and gently lecture him every so often, but if Al was content it was good enough for Ed. Al kept calling him, of course, but Ed thought it would be better if Al wasn't around to witness his current state, and told him to stay in Risembool.

He _knew_ he should drag himself out of bed, he _knew_ he should maybe get around to that shower he'd been putting off for a couple of days and he _knew_ that he was supposed to be in the stupid colonel's office in approximately ten minutes, but he just couldn't bring himself to care. So what if he spent another day lying around doing fuck all? Really, no one gave a damn whether he turned up or not unless he had an overdue report. He didn't consider himself anyone special: besides the state alchemist qualification, he was just a sma-- _okay_, he wouldn't go as far as calling himself small, but he was certainly insignificant. The world keeps turning, and life would continue no matter what he did. Every one had their own routines, and would happily go about their business indifferent to one blond alchemist.

Boring, really.

Nothing particularly spectacular had happened recently to Edward Elric, the latest change had crept up gradually. First, he had actually started getting back on time from his missions. No detours, no stopping to chat along the way. After all, people were predictable and boring and _human_. Things had quietened down lately, and Ed no longer found any joy in meaningless conversations with strangers. Why should he? He was hardly going to see them ever again in his _life_. Until he got called back to apologise to whoever he'd fucked up, but that would come later.

Then he stopped keeping in touch. Whenever Winry called, he'd find some excuse to avoid talking to her. There was no particular reason, he just didn't feel like stumbling through a conversation where he simply had nothing to say to her. They'd grown apart. And then he stopped talking altogether.

A forced smile or noncommittal shrug was commonplace with Edward Elric. Conversations just didn't interest him, and he'd had quite enough lies for one lifetime. He spent more and more time sleeping or avoiding people and less and less time actually caring. People stopped making an effort to talk to him, and learned to leave him alone. Eventually, he retreated inside his head altogether. He wasn't sure why everyone was so paranoid of madness, frankly, he'd welcome it. It might give him someone to talk to. There were stories of people who heard voices, and frankly, Ed didn't know why they complained so much. At least they had willing company. Of course, th--

"Fullmetal, get your sorry arse out of bed. You have work to do."

Ed looked up.

"Colonel bastard, right on time."

The Colonel pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. When he spoke, his voice was decidedly softer. "You haven't been in for days. What's wrong with you lately?" Ed grunted and made to roll over, but his attempt was thwarted when he felt a hand grab his upper arm. "Fullmetal - _Edward _- you need help. There are still people that ca--"

"I really don't give a fuck. Either get me a gun, or get out. I don't mind which." The hand on his arm retreated, and the floor creaked and soft footsteps marked the Colonel leaving. They seemed to pause at the door.

"Edward, I _will_ help you. We've both been through hell and back; I am _not _letting you give up now." Ed didn't reply, and just pulled the blanket up over his head. He heard another sigh, and he door creaked open. "I'll be back at the same time tomorrow, Fullmetal. I expect you at work if I have to drag you there myself."

He waited until he heard the door shut, and footsteps walk away, before making his muttered reply.

"Same time tomorrow, Mustang."

Damn Colonel. Some people just didn't give up. Ed felt himself smile.

* * *

_I was originally going to end this with a suicide, but Roy wouldn't let me. I should buy him flowers. XD This is my first FMA fic, I'd love to know what people think. =)_

_Peace out! ~Roxy_


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